The Power of Love During Turbulent Times

Hello, my name is Frank Wolf. I am 58 years old and I take care of my 87 year old mother, Ruthita. My Mother was diagnosed five years ago with vascular dementia, which is a general term describing problems with reasoning, planning, judgment, memory and other thought processes caused by brain damage from impaired blood flow to the brain. We live in the town of Alamogordo, New Mexico. Since the coronavirus pandemic started in January 2020, our lives became very difficult and I had to devote my life to help and protect my mother from being infected with this dangerous virus. She forgets that we are going through a pandemic and all the precautions that we need to take to stay safe. Because of her condition, she cannot assimilate what we are facing today with coronavirus and the danger that it represents to someone of her age.

My mother receives Meals-On-Wheels during weekdays, and even though the management and the chefs are very caring, we had cases where the delivery drivers came without wearing a mask, and gloves. Sometimes I’ve heard them coughing, which made me very concerned. I was concerned to the point that I called Meals-On-Wheels and explained my concerns and fears to the directors. It took them a while to pick up and understand the dangers of the coronavirus in this town, but now they have most delivery drivers wearing masks and gloves. Still, I have to be at her home by 10 am ready to receive the food tray, with a mask and gloves on. I have to wash all the containers with soap and warm water and reheat at a high temperature, all the food coming from any outside sources.

My mother had a housekeeper who had to leave for personal reasons. The company that provided the service for us couldn’t find another suitable person for my mom’s needs, so I had to take over the job. I take care of her apartment. I clean the kitchen and bathroom every day, vacuum the carpets, prepare some of the food, and I set up the table and serve lunch for both of us at noon every day.

My mother will not eat if I don’t eat with her. I hear her childhood stories about 50 to a 100 times a week, or perhaps a lot more. I always act like is the first time I’m hearing it. It’s amazing how she can remember so much from her childhood. Full poems and stories and even prayers in Latin from her time at her immaculate Concepcion Catholic Nun School. I take her on a car ride around the town almost every day. Since almost everything is closed in town, it’s the best I can do. I’ve notice that she begins to get depressed, and sometimes a little hostile, when she doesn’t go out at least every other day.

So, I had to put my job and my life in pause, for as long as it takes, to make sure Ruthita is safe and remains well. She did it for me and my three brothers when we were kids, and I’m happy to be able to do it for her today. I’m thankful for the support and all the help that I get from my wife Anita and my brother Hans, or this would be much, much harder for me. I guess that is the real power of love, when we are going through turbulent times.